The first,I return and with a flash in pan
A pain of love
To send me hurtling back
Into the Western Sun
A fire that awoke in me
A burning man, lost at both ends
There is no room for poetry
In the soul of the woman that I love
No place for the fancies I take up
Upon myself and dance in the midnight
Casting spells and murmuring wishes
She’s the book of hard knocks that’s never known them
Never shut the door not knowing of where to sleep tonight
She is the soul of a warm abode
A bunny which calls to me, “Hazel-Ra, come home”
But I’m down the rabbit hole and twisted far away from that place
Winding down old forgotten roads and I cannot stop to find one,
Whilst in my search of me. Ah, she would be a lovely stop,
But I can’t take the time to slow down, let alone stand still
Though I would til the world did and watched her with eyes I found
Back at the beginning of man, these are old eyes that see her
Born anew every morning within the misty dew
Is there any sadder song than that of a fool’s love?
I’d give up life for you, if it meant we’d share another
Maybe make one or two.
But I can’t give you my life,
And to sacrifice it on your altar
Would be a death of everything you love and admire
Sure, some things would still match
Like the verdancy of our eyes
But mine might be dead inside
Bobby D said “I want you”
And nothing else plays in my head
But that song is about ache, as much as desire
You tear me apart and I’ve been ripped asunder by your stare
Can you meet mine?
I need a lover who lays themselves bare, tooth and all.
So don’t plan to love me. Dare.
I am the fire sent from the heavens that burns hotter than the wildfires of man, I am the molten stone and steel the thing which has passed through countless crucibles since the dawn of my being and I am much changed as the caterpillar, broken down to a paste of his most intimate parts only to be glued back together in the most intricate and delicate of ways forced to flee his shell for want of life and the need for struggle. A butterfly though I may be I am strong beyond measure, there isn’t a task I cannot surmount when my mind has made itself up.
I lie awake with you in bed asleep at night and the want of your touch clashes like a thousand swords upon a thousand shields and arms and hands and heads as the need for you cuts and let’s leak my deepest feelings while I guard my respect for you, your space and boundaries. I would wish myself so enmeshed with you I cut myself a hundred times on your each and every corner, nook, gnoll, and cranny.
I feel an imposter for I killed that love I gave yo whilst you slept, I killed it, before it could kill me, to save myself, it’s killing me, I was afraid. I still am. But I’m not afraid to lie. I’m not afraid to go back to the way things were and to a world without you. How can anyone not be completely awed and inspired by you?
Sometimes I get a glimpse of the Sun, it no longer blinds me, I see through to whole beings and know only love. Everything is burning.