Talented? You want to talk about Talented?
My client has talent comin’ out of his ears!
His earwax, it’s magnificent I tel ya,
Lick your finger, wiggle it in his ear a bit, you can stick it in your own ear or wear it like a lollipop on your finger, and suck it like your grand pappy.
It’s nuts! Listen to me, listen to me, have I ever lied to you,
Hey, hey, you’re not listening here! I want a bit more of your attention here, and I tell you, i tell you- don’t you with fuck me, don’t you fuck with me Bob! I will fuck you, I will fuck you so hard, so hard, you won’t shit right for weeks Bob, you won’t shit right for weeks!
Yea you like that don’t ya. Yea you like it when I talk Brooklyn to you girl, talk Jersey to you, call you a Girl Bob, you like it when I call YOU the girl., like it when I talk down to you like I’m a talent agent, like to get on top of the phone and start yelling “Fuck You!” Into the microphone as loud as humanly possible and rip out the chord because it’s a chorded phone because I’m actually at my grandma’s and she doesn’t believe in Cell Phones and it’s an antique that I bought her at a yardsale for three bucks but She loves it more than me because the phone will never leave her, never walk out the door but keep looking back to see if someone is chasing them but they’re not and it’s broken, because you made me so angry that I ripped out the cord because you ripped out my heart and I’m bleeding and lonely and killing myself on the shower floor wearing my clothing because I don’t want them to find me naked and see my Golden Girls tattoo all gone to waste like that, what a shame… It was perfect. And you ruined it because you got me hot Bob, you got me hot. And when my temperature rises so does my heart rate and I would have exploded but thankfully and regrettably you were there to perform open heart surgery on the corner of Fifth and Seventh. Bob, it’s over, move on. We can’t do this again, you’re killing me. Alright, see you Friday, bye, yeah, uh huh, yep, gotcha. Great, good-, yeahp, yup, goo-, good, goodbye, sure, ya, bye. That’ll be $3.50 for your time. Ciao!
… And that ladies and Gentlemen is how you make a sale in this department!