A Scene of Something with Two In Lovers

“My goodness it’s that song from earlier”
I looked at her and smiled
__________________*What kind of game would I like to play?
__________________8What kind of game is this?
__________________*Save the princess, complete the mission-or
__________________8Or soak in the blood and become a vampire of the earthblood
__________________*That sick shit
__________________*Only for the hungry
“Gunge” and enjoyed the g sound like a sharp cheddar grinding softly grating gently.
“Gently grated.” She answered, reading my starethoughts.
“You’ve got me baffled Miss.”
“Have I now? Oh don’t be coy.”
“I’m not being coy.”
“Then you’re being a boy. Coy.”
“So rhyming now?”
“Well I wouldn’t date you if we weren’t poets together.”
“So call me a poet.”
“I don’t know coy boy if you’d even know it.”
“You’ve got me now.”
“I dig sarcasm too.”
“Well then baby, dig it.”
“Can I bum a cigarette?”
“What’ll I get for it?”
“I’ll play a different song once in awhile.”
______________ -I don’t follow you.
“Yea, that’s totally cool.”
“Are we done rhyming?”
“Yea, maybe just for now.”
“Should we dine on pig or cow?”
“Ok now you’re reaching. It was pretty good before, but now you’re just betting on your good looks.”

“Well thanks for the wink… And the indulgence.”
“The winks are all mine.”
(Pause…Awkward)
“You gotta wonder about the massive stick that’s been up the american ass this past century.”
_____________A. I don’t wonder about massive sticks- I know, I got one.
_____________B. Homophobic much?
_____________C. Are we talkin’ politics here?
_____________D. WTF?
“Ugh? Oh. Yah! …Right?”
“Punctuation mark.”

“I mean you could insert one.”
“oh, could I?”
“Well you’ve ended a sentence.”
“Have I…?
“Completely. And again just now, and, at least in english, you’ve got, Oh, I estimate about 5. In alphabetical order (Slowly, with much thought power, determined and with a marked gradual physical transformation/dramatic reposition of isolated upper body movement. Oh and in character.) I’d say an elipsis… an exclamation mark! A hyphen- A period. And a Question Mark? (Inhales again, and again) Yea I’d say that’s about all them. And yours sounded like an exclamation mark.”
“And you just put a period on my exclamation mark?”
“You’ve never had a period on your exclamation mark have you?
“Well to be quiet honest that’s quite accurate. Both in that; I have no penis to period on, nor that I have ever had anyone else’s period on me nor the means to do so myself personally if I had said penis to period on; and in that I will period on you if you exclamation mark me… But only until Tomorrow… Hopefully.”
“That is a very warm welcome to sex at a later point in time.”
“Some call it a promise.”
“Finesse!”
“I didn’t say it was one.”
“I heard it here first, it can not be unheard, perhaps undone, but that is a record I will put on replay for you.”
“I’ll be sure to play a different song once in awhile.”
“It’s cool if you’re raggin’ it.”
“Raggin’ it bruhtha, I’m ragtimin’ it.
“I’m not callin’ you sistuh.”
“Well don’t call me yo mutha.”
“Well don’t call me something cheezy like yor lovah.”
“I don’t want to share anything else but this.”
“Let’s call it a new name, and foxes we’ll be, watching over our foxley den gazing past the ruins of man in a field 7,000 years hence as the last lifeforms of a dying world, unto the last.”
“OH shit yeah! That’d be cool! Oh. But, (sweetly) sorry dear, I don’t believe in reincarnation. I’m an atheist.”
“I mean, yea. That’s cool. Shouldn’t you be a little more normal then so, like, natural selection supports normalcy and Darwin and shit… Right? Am I killin’ a bird here?”
“Ummm. Maybe, an awkward penguin… Or a Dodo…”
“Man, the shit that comes to the human mind sometimes.”
“Or out your man mouth.”
“Better out than in I always say. But I think that’s usually more in regards to the shit part than the out of my mouth part… Never mind…”
“Eww.”
“You know that is the worst.”
“No the worst is that these days you only get fifteen minutes of fame if your youtube video happens to be 15 minutes long, and totally fuckin’ worth the watch dude, like these are really good videos sometimes. Or it’s just shit for fourteen minutes and you have to pray on your first world knees that someone put a timestamp for that good part. That’s only 15 seconds, that’s only about as worthy as the 9,000 plays before it reaches the 15 minutes of fame line. And then you burrow down into Z list has been celebrities. Or the whole thing’s shyte.”
“The once and forever King”
“I don’t get it.”
“It’s a T.S. Elliot Novel.”
“The once and future King?”
“We’ll that’s the prequal.”
“Oh. Is there a sequal?”
“Yea, ‘The once and once more time King”
“Cool…”
“Yea, Daft Punk directed it… I think it’s a parody. Kind of like ‘This is Spinal Tap’ but of a real band. A sort of a human that never was. King Arthur turns out to be a cyborg in the last one. Crazy! (Alarmed) I know… …It didn’t do so well. It was there first big try at comedy and you know what they say about comedy- comedy is tough- you know? It did a number on that Luke Solo character from War Treck’s career.”
“You mean Mark Hamill who played Luke Skywalker in episodes 4, 5, and 6 of Star Wars and later did the voice of Joker on the animated Batman TV show? Or Harrison Ford who played Han Solo in the aforementioned episodes and later became Indiana Jones?”
“Or?”
“Or Jean Leauc Picard played by Patrick Stewart in Star Trek The Next Generation or Captain Kirk as played by William Shatner in the Original Star Trek Show. Oh and it’s totally T. H. White by the way, not T. S. Eliot.”
“Or?”
“Are you kidding me?”
(Face)
“Avery Brooks as Commanding Officer Benjamin Lafayette Sisko in Star Trek Deep Space Nine, Kate Mulgrew as Captain Kathryn Janeway in Star Trek Voyager.”
“Whoa.”
“And Jonathan Archer as played by Scott Bakula but he’s much more of a moonraking Roger Moore.”
“Eww gross. But even so… Whoa.”
“What?”
“Thank you god she passed the test!”
“The test?”
“I couldn’t kiss you if you weren’t at least level 2 nerd.”
“Low standards?”
“Well you’ve done well my young padwan, your midiclorines suggest that you are at least of level 3.”
“Nerfherder, I don’t deal around with little pokeballs, I want some real fuckin’ foundation.”
____________-Spoke to soon…
“Saucy… (enticed) Alright, so my name is Michael Valentine. How do I die?”
“You’re stoned to death by an angry mob.”
“And then?”
“Your remains are eaten by your followers.”
“Well they’re my friends.”
“It’s all a matter of perspective.”
“I bet the angry mob thought the same.”
“So? What level am I now?”
“Who are you?”
“Name your categories.”
“No.”
“Mere mortal I am a beauty that will rage for a million years, far beyond the reaches of your comprehension. Doubt not me!”
“I thought you were an atheist?”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t have an imagination.”
“Could you show me how you use it?
“Sure but first I have to know what level you are. I mean if you’re not wizarding in the epic levels that’s ok, you can pull out your Yu-Gi-Oh cards, I’ve gathered some Magic in my time.”
“Whoa honey you’re talking to a reigning champion Modern Warfare champion this side of the Tikanita River.”
“In Japan?”
“Well I guess this side of the Pacific ocean would be more exact. But yeah. That’s how I earn me keeps.”
“Just Modern Warfare?”
“Honey that’s a number of games to be a champion on.”
“So not all the Call of Duty games?”
“You must be a keeper, because I haven’t seen a looker like you that could say nerfherder and not be a nerd hooker too.”
“I was actually, in college.”
“Women’s rugby? I played rugby in college too!”
“No I actually worked the streets for money. I was in sexaholics for three years after that. But it paid for college. So I’m good.”
“I wish I could have sold my body for sex in college. I could even buy sex with my body in college.”
“Laugh Track.”
“Funny.”
“Well that’s the idea.”
“I’ve never wanted to get naked and play video games with another person so much in my life.”
“You only want to watch?”
“Oh I’m ready to play baby, but I’m tellin’ you these aren’t gonna be bored games.”
“I hope not! Geez.”
“You’re on ragtime now right, so like, that means we’re safe right?”
“I don’t know you’d have to ask a girl.”
“Wait… What.”
“Yea dumbass, we’re good.”
“She started right away with the abuse officer.”
“When I kiss, I prefer not to tell, even if they ask.”
“Never told tales out of school?”
“Is this some academic fantasy of yours, or is the bedroom still your classroom?”
“Ashamed of kissing a student?”
“I’m not looking to look after a pupil I’m just lookin’ for someone who will look me in mine.”
“But?”
“Haven’t you ever wanted to have a secret just between you and one other person, to last you your whole life.”
“I’m not much good at keeping them.”
“Can you keep a promise?”
“Yeah.”
“Then you can keep a secret.”
“I suppose…”
“Haven’t you ever kept something so sacred within you, it is a secret isn’t it? That sacred space inside of you where no one goes, no one shows it, no one gets shown to it. You have to find your own way there, blind in the dark, and you leave it the same way. Sometimes you couldn’t show it even if you wanted to, but it’s there and you know it’’s there, and I don’t want anyone else to know it. Anyone else but you… You know, if you were that guy… That person…”
“No I get it, you just don’t want me telling my friends or family, or even complete strangers the nitty gritty details of our incredibly awesome hot sweaty passionate love making.”
“Yeah that too.”
(Pause.)
“Nah, I dig it, I’m hollow inside except for a candle and I just try to burn up as much shit as possible, hell I don’t even know what it’s eating any more. It may as well be eating people. Whole. But, hey maybe this sounds hollow.”
“That’s ok, the hollow is part of it.”
“I had a shovel as a kid and I lived near a forest. I played there a lot, it was a kind of safe place for me, out in nature. One day something happened to me, I don’t remember what, I buried it in those woods. I made a map, three hundred paces due west from the old oak tree with the snake hole underneath, is an X mark. I made it when I was 11. I went years later and dug it up. There was nothing there. I lay awake at night wondering if I had ever buried it, or I dreamed of burying it.”
“What was it?”
“It was one of those tumor twins. You know the babies that start growing in you that have hair and teeth or a whole spinal chord.”
“Are you serious?”
“I know, right. I’d ask my parents about it but they’re dead.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“No it’s ok, they’re alive, they’re just dead to me, my dad is kind of a dead beat stereotype time! My mom smokes 6 packs a day on government paycheck.”
“Welfare?”
“Homeland Security.”
“Oh I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I know, she refuses to smoke weed anymore. I was kind of worried, but then she got lung cancer, and just thought. Well it’s been nice but I’m not interested in watching my mom double fist oxygen masks and marb reds.”
“Livin’ the dream.”
“You said it.”
“So you can’t remember if you buried your tumor twin baby that grew out of your-”
“Left armpit.”
“-Left armpit, yeah. So you can’t remember if you buried your armpit baby tumor twin in the middle of a forest or if you just dreamed you buried your armpit baby tumor twin in the middl of a forest.”
“That’s the gist of it.”
“There must be some medical record of it?”
“Nah, my dad’s a doctor, he just did this one off the books for insurance purposes. After the surgery he gave me what was left of it to play with for some reason, or maybe he just told me to bury it, but I felt like burying it. So I did. It felt like the right thing to do, like you know, I think he would have wanted it.”
“Your dad?”
“No my twin.”
“Oh right. And you said it wasn’t there when you dug it up?”
“Yea it was really weird. Freaks me out a lot sometime like maybe I forgot about my twin on the counter or something and someone threw him away. That is of course if I didn’t dream the whole thing, I was under a lot of anesthetics at the time.”
“Your dad let an 11 year old boy wander off into the woods after an unsupervised at home surgery with the raw remains of your armpit tumor turned twin kid brother WHILE HIGH?”
“No, don’t be silly, my dad was drunk during the surgery, I was high.”
“Makes you wonder doesn’t it.”
“Yea like if I did bury it, maybe something ate it.”
“Makes you wonder…”

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