Rumors goin’ ‘round ‘bout your Sister

Rumors goin’ ‘round ‘bout your Sister

Rumor is

this crude humorist

is but a bonnie lass

found pinching butts

and spanking ass

Rumor is this chica is a roamin’

moanin’ from a bonin’

she got from a skater’s boy

she said see ya later boy

to suitors who’d tutored and paid

Rumor is she’s waylaid by a memory

remains silent under fire

for but a moment

til she’s back in the swing of things

makin’ jokes about dumplings and dingalings

Rumor has it

she farts in her sleep

Rumor has it

she’s in love with a love machine

Rumor on the streets these days

says your sister’s a harlot of men’s hearts

too tart for buttered bread

a cooper of the finest casks of Amontillado

and barrels of laughs- not to mention monkeys

Rumor on the streets these days says

your sister got into some legal trouble with the bar

mitzvah’d a mustachioed man for his monacle

baked him up an Alaskan Monadnock and called him “a bromance

of two rude dude’s gettin’ lewd with food”

Rumor on the streets these days says

she’s gettin’ diseases from monkeys

that’s what I said she’s gettin’ diseases from monkeys
smokin’ up monkeys in trees and rooftops smokin‘ ce-

gars, runnin’ around like a skunk hide ‘n’ seekin’ like a princess punk

Rumor has it

she’s knee deep in a three dimensional philosophy

Rumor has it

she can’t sing for shit, cause her throat got all lumpy

Rumors I hear comin’ through the roof like rainwater

about her fractal birthday, callin’ to the moon like a moon dog

losin’ that V in a V house

The new ain’t new enough for her red blouse

got news for the rest in the west, letters you can mouth

Rumors I hear floodin’ the basement of our dreams

building that company of the four

restructuring the social backgrounds of every board in the floor

made it for dancing to the sounds of bebop, scat, doo-wop

new wave mega hits, of the 50’s, 60’s, 80’s, tomorrow and today

Rumors hail down taxi cabs outside to depart

leaves a stocking drinking beer

leaves a sewing machine of blood lines

leaves a shower curtain without expression

leaves a kitchen stool bare

Rumor has it

bittersweet symphonies are still bitter

Rumor has it

California dreamin’ took you away


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