The Tubes Removal Agreement

“Hey Dad” a small 6 year old Michael says to his dad as he gets into the their old burgundy van with wooden paneling.  A juice box sits in the cup holder already opened while two coca colas sit in a brown paper bag between the two seats. “Hey Michael how was your day?”
“It was good, we’re going to hatch chickens in Mrs. Scott’s class, they’re from her farm, we’re going to put them in an incubator until they hatch.”
“Oh cool, cool.  Now you know what today is right?”
“Yeahp.  What about Matt though?”
“Your mother is going to pick him up at five while we go to your appointment.  Now I need you to drink this juice box.”
“Ok.  What about those cokes though?”
“Maybe they’re for later.”
Michael grabs the juice box “It’s grape!”  and sips it through the tiny straw.  Immediately “Eeewww, this tastes funny dad!”
“I know Michael, but you have to finish the whole thing.  You can have a coke if you do.”
“Ok” Michael drinks it slowly at first, pressing his tongue against the roof of his mouth as he sucks as though the pressure or small tunnel would make it taste less strange.  Eventually he sucks the juice box dry until the straw begins making sucking noises.  “All done.  That really tasted weird Dad.”
“I know Michael, I know.  Here’s your coke!”  Michael eagerly pops it open ceremoniously with his two front teeth and takes a big sip, the aftertaste however lingers from the juice, and the coke is warm.  “ugh, it still tastes funny.”  Dad laughs, Michael continues to sip on the coke regardless.  Soon Dad announces “We’re here.”
“Really?  That was quick.”
The two enter the building, things go fuzzy until Michael is on top of an operating table.  The doctor explains to Lincoln, “don’t worry he won’t need any anesthetic”  Lincoln is unsure of this, “are you sure he asks?” “oh he’ll be fine, don’t worry about i.
The doctor begins to remove something from Michael’s ear.  First the right one.  Michael struggles and cries “It hurts, it hurts!”
Lincoln feels unsure of what to do.  The doctor notices, “Don’t worry he’s fine”
“It hurts!”
“He’s fine, Mr. Soldati.”
“It hurts!”
“He’s fine Mr. Soldati, it’s for his own good.”
“It hurts!”
“Mr. Soldati, please hold your son down for me, he’s making this simple procedure quite difficult”
“Dad, dad, daddy!  It’s hurts, don’t make me do it.”
“Mr. Soldati, please.”
Lincoln, disturbed yet unsure, gives in and holds down his son.  “Michael, I’m sorry…”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Michael screams and cries as the tube is forcibly removed from his ear.
The doctor removes the tube from the operating area “Aww now that wasn’t so bad was it?  Now for the next ear.  Mr. Soldati if you don’t mind turning him a little.”
In the interim Michael struggles, eventually he fights his way free of the doctor and his father and runs to the parking lot crying.  Dad enters.  “Michael what’s the matter?”
“I don’t like it!  It hurts Dad it hurts!  Don’t make me go in there, please, Dad, please don’t make me go in.”
“I’m sorry Michael” he looks down at the ground “but we have to do this…”
Michael cries and throws a temper tantrum.
Lincoln let’s Michael have his moment and as his tears are subsiding he offers up a proposition “Ok how about this Michael, if you go in there and get your other tube pulled, I’ll take you out for Ice cream afterwards.”
Wiping the tears from his eyes Michael says “Really?”
“Yep, and you can get whatever you like.”
“I want pink bubblegum.”
“Ice cream?”
“Sure but you gotta go in there and get the other ear done.”
“Do I have to?”
“Yes you do.”
“Can we get ice cream first and then come back and do the other one?”
“Nope, it’s either both ears or no ice cream.”
“Because your mom is expecting us home and the doctors are busy.”
“Oh, ok.”
“Alright.  Do you think you can go in there and get the other one done?”
“Yeah, I think so…  Dad?”
“Can I get a sugar cone?”
“Sure you can Mike, you can have a sugar cone.  All set?”
“Let’s go.”
Michael gets his other tube pulled, and the two enjoy a nice ice cream cone, a real father son moment, as they’d say, leaning against some old ice cream stand with real old fashioned ice cream, Michael with his pink bubblegum in a sugar cone and Lincoln more’n likely with a butter pecan in the same.  Michael’s tears long dried and the father looking down at his son saying “you’re a good sport Michael you know that.” Ruffling the child’s hair.  Benny and the Jets or somelike on the triumphant drive home, a small blue plastic container in Michael’s possession where his tubes lay, that laid under pillows the tubes fairy came and replaced each with a five dollar bill.  Michael wished he had more tubes to lose by the next morning and wished the tooth fairy wasn’t quite so cheap.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s