On (Not) helping the Situation (probably)

On (probably) not helping the situation
Man I suck at this
But it’s honest right?
Yea but not very positive
Well I guess it sucks for you
And well I can’t really feel sorry though I do feel bad
And I guess it doesn’t help that I’m writing this
I mean it will only draw attention to myself
And what I’ve done
What I’ve written
But if I’m lucky (or not)
You probably won’t guess at it
Incredibly personal (to the artist)
Though seemingly impersonal (to the audience)
Will you ever guess that this is about you?
Will you ever guess that it is all about you?
That it always was and I hope and pray that (for the most part) someday it will stop and I can rest and catch my breath without you in each and every inhalation and exhalation (unless there were particular circumstances, but they’re unlikely aren’t they?)
Go away so I can be alone, that’s always what I (never) wanted.
Do I overdramatize the situation? Do I pretend to love you more than I do? Than I can? Than is humanly possible? Yes and yet the words come from someplace I cannot tell, my heart wrenches like tempered metal over a bellowed fire, my remembrances echo nightly of your love, your pain, your torture. It is a mixed song that now resurfaces at night to bid me welcome, do I enter into your lofty gates to be swallowed up by the sands of time as though Deja vu trapped within a memory of love and yet loving presently as though Deja vu trapped within a loving presently and yet a memory of love. Have you caught me? Do you know who you are? This is no riddle but to yourself- do you know who you are? Have you caught me? I’m probably not helping much, stressed out? Have I compounded the complex situation? We are but one another’s dream we cannot fight this, the question is if we are dreamers and clearly then not the only one, which way, Pisces, are you swimming?


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